Incidentally, I can say with authority there is a lot of snow out there. In fact, the snow on my back porch and around the side of my house is in fact just higher than my knees.
"But Cheetahmaster, how would you know that exact measurement?"
Well, because the snow in front of my house was piled on my screen door so much that I could not in fact open it, and had to walk around the whole house. That's a steep hill normally, BTW.
OK, so. There's this snow, you see. My neighbor, helpfully, pointed out a method for freeing the car that everyone else used when they were all outside together, singing carols and sharing gossip and shoveling cars out around noon (they invited me, but yeah, manning the queue as it were, working from the basement.) So, I take her advice and start digging out behind my car, then to move to the sides, then start up the car and let gravity help and just push me out of the space.
I get to the rear of the car, and the snow is in fact up to my trunk. Ooooh-kay. I dig out *most* of it (and all of the tailpipe. I'm lazy, but not stupid.) Then on to the sides of the car. Where the snow is, I shit you not, up to my windows. asd'kfds;kdlsaf
Time to cut another corner. I just dig out behind the rear wheels and the driver's side door. Getting into the car, I manage to pull off that rubber seal that makes the car airtight, which anyone who has ridden in my car in the past two years knows hasn't been quite right for a while now. But, turn on the car, pray to gravity, and it works! YAY LAZINESS! There's also this awesome half-igloo the shape of my car in my parking space now.