As always, Carmax did the job. Walked in, searched for a car that met my (rather simple) needs, three-ish hours later, (more or less) ready to roll. '97 Saturn, green exterior, tan interior. Hot hot tape deck (with the words 'theft protection' next to it, comedy gold.) Most important, air conditioning. Which I have been without all summer. Eep. Only a V4, but better pickup than I expected. It's gonna take some getting used to a smaller car. Not that my previous car was a boat by any means, but even the steering wheel on the new one feels tiny.
Fun fact: Carmax is owned by Circuit City!
The best part of my day was the trade-in. Trade-in value for my car? $50! KA-CHING.
Many thanks to Selene for patiently keeping me company during this whole process (including the MVA) and offering her sage advice. This greatly helped me overcome my general impatience and fear of bureaucracy.
Tomorrow: other news, more pictures.