"SCORPIO: Last February, three people got lost while riding their mountain bikes in California's San Bernardino National Forest. Luckily, they were rescued by emergency workers before any harm came to them. But the next day they returned to the woods to look for their bikes and got lost a second time. Again, help arrived in time, and they were escorted to safety. Don't be like them in the coming days, Scorpio. You're allowed to wander off-course and get saved once, but don't make the same mistake twice."
So, my horoscope is... don't ride my bike in the woods?