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29 April 2004 @ 01:21 pm
So. A few times last year, I mentioned The Big Sekrit as something that had been going on in my life. Naturally, a couple gossipy types took this to mean that *obviously* I was cheating on Anne, and spread this rumor around. They were, of course, mistaken, but a couple close friends took it upon themselves to defend me, and I will always thank them for that.

So I stopped talking about The Big Sekrit, so as more people wouldn't come up with crazy theories. Nevertheless, the Sekrit remained. Only a couple people found out about it, including one person accidentally at the club, which kind of cracked me up (in retrospect.) And yesterday, I finally did something about it.

Last spring, one of the crowns on one of my fake teeth started causing me problems. To wit, it was, well, moving, unlike what I want my teeth to be doing. So I knew it had to get fixed. As some of you know, I despise/fear dentists more than regular doctors, and will put these things off as long as humanly possible. I don't even like talking about this, which is why I am getting it all out of the way at once. Starting last week, I have been hitting the dentist to get this thing fixed once and for all. I did a lot of research online, and decided to go with an implant.

They took out my temporary fix yesterday, filed down what was left of the tooth, and gave me what is in essence a retainer with a tooth on it. I get to wear this beauty for a couple months, and let me tell you how unexcited I am by this prospect. I currently have problems eating with it in, and I talk very funny, with an occasional lisp and everything. I've been singing and saying tongue-twisters, to try to get used to this thing. It's a chore, though, and makes me sad. As you know, I like to talk. A lot. And often.

So, soon I make the second big appointment. At said visit, they take out the remainder of the tooth, and implant, in fact, a titanium screw into my upper jaw. (Blissfully, I will be unconscious when this occurs.) Over the course of the next 6-8 weeks, the bone grows around the screw, making it pretty damn permanent. At the end, I get a new permanent fake tooth put on top. It's keen, but *expensive,* which isn't something I need right now. Nevertheless, been trying to get this done for a while, and once I've gotten the ball rolling, it's gotta keep rolling.

[I'm also contacting UMBC about being a guinea pig for their dental school. It did wonders for my younger sister, and frankly, I need to save the money where I can these days.]

So, yeah. Not trying to elicit sympathy, just explain what's going on these days.
Blinkysqueegibo on April 29th, 2004 10:45 am (UTC)
My father has a similar problem. I think he knocked out most of his front teeth in a sledding accident as a kid, and has had a series of crowns, fake teeth, root canals, etc. He's old and his jaw has been messed with a zillion times, so the dentist refused to give him an implant. The dentist gave him fake retainer teeth like yours and is trying to convince Dad to keep them permanently. Sucks. He's not at all happy.

Um, right, so I'm not sure where that was going except: sorry to hear that. At least you get the implant.
PMMJcheetahmaster on April 29th, 2004 11:03 am (UTC)
Heh, danke.

I know it's only a couple months, but I still intend to whine about it. I didn't even get the exciting sledding accident!
- examorata on April 29th, 2004 12:12 pm (UTC) (Expand)
- salami_salome on April 29th, 2004 01:18 pm (UTC) (Expand)
- cheetahmaster on April 29th, 2004 01:54 pm (UTC) (Expand)
- angela_la_la on April 29th, 2004 11:08 am (UTC) (Expand)
- squeegibo on April 29th, 2004 11:17 am (UTC) (Expand)
- judithiscariot on April 29th, 2004 11:28 am (UTC) (Expand)
- examorata on April 29th, 2004 12:11 pm (UTC) (Expand)
- cheetahmaster on April 29th, 2004 11:39 am (UTC) (Expand)
Titaniasummer_queen on April 29th, 2004 11:40 am (UTC)
Yow. Okay, I will keep my juvenile whimpering about braces to myself (and cross my fingers my crowns stay put for a while longer). Good luck with the venture!
PMMJcheetahmaster on April 29th, 2004 01:54 pm (UTC)

Deep down inside, I am relatively sure this is a karmic debt for never having braces or the like before.
Booyeah Jonxtbooyeah on April 29th, 2004 11:47 am (UTC)
I just figured it was something stupid and not actually secret-worthy at all. I think I win the gossip pool on this one.

Also, I can do very cheap dentistry if you need it. All I need is a bottle of whiskey, a hammer and some string. Maybe a melon baller to help get out the smaller bits.
PMMJ: Lionel Luthorcheetahmaster on April 29th, 2004 01:55 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I'm getting too old for the good gossip/secrets anymore.
- mediaprophet on April 29th, 2004 07:23 pm (UTC) (Expand)
- cheetahmaster on April 29th, 2004 08:18 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Jenexamorata on April 29th, 2004 12:13 pm (UTC)
Oh my. I completely empathize. I fear and loathe the dentist. Yet I am lucky and have (near-)perfect teeth. So far. I fear that one day one huge thing will go wrong and boom.

This sucks, but better now than...uh, later. So you get a fake tooth. Can you get that in gold?
Genethatwhichisgene on April 29th, 2004 01:07 pm (UTC)
I must say, from personal experience, a gold tooth is quite the fashion statement. I only wish mine was more prominent when Pirate Weekend rolls around.
Jenna Sparksdharshai on April 29th, 2004 12:19 pm (UTC)
You were cheating on your other teeth! I knew it!
Kensubliminaltea on April 29th, 2004 12:40 pm (UTC)
Damn, and my guess was that you signed away ze bebe to the government's super sekrit genetic soldier experiment.

I can totally sympathize about dentists. I hate them. I've gotten a little better about trusting them recently though. Especially when I found out that my dentist was in fact, MacGuyver. Remind me to tell you the story some time about how he performed a root canal on me with some bottled water, with me holding some of the instruments. Best. Root. Canal. Evaaar!
PMMJ: Hulkcheetahmaster on April 29th, 2004 01:56 pm (UTC)
I'm thinking I will *NEVER* ask you to tell me that story. Actually.
salami_salomesalami_salome on April 29th, 2004 01:20 pm (UTC)
the bone grows around the screw

Oh man. I don't envy you, but think of the street cred.
Hang in there.
PMMJcheetahmaster on April 29th, 2004 01:57 pm (UTC)
Danke, danke. I will be OK, as long as I don't psyche myself out too much first.

Apparently, it won't set off metal detectors later in life. Ah well.
shannonlj on April 29th, 2004 01:32 pm (UTC)
I have one of those screws! They didn't even knock me out to put it in and it was only sensitive for a couple of days. Works great too.

Good luck.
PMMJcheetahmaster on April 29th, 2004 01:56 pm (UTC)
Oh, I would freak out if I weren't put under for this.

But, glad to hear someone else survived it!
- edamame on April 30th, 2004 12:15 am (UTC) (Expand)
- cheetahmaster on April 30th, 2004 09:10 am (UTC) (Expand)
- shannonlj on April 30th, 2004 09:29 am (UTC) (Expand)
Bette Davis Eyesprakriti on April 29th, 2004 03:44 pm (UTC)
Thats the big secret? I'm so disappointed. At least you could've told us if your dentist was hot or something.
PMMJ: Jesus Lickcheetahmaster on April 29th, 2004 08:19 pm (UTC)
For the money I am paying them, you'd think I could get a little better "service." IfyahknowwhatImean.