PMMJ (cheetahmaster) wrote,

- Dawn of the Dead remake - Hmmm. Not sure why they need to remake this, but OK. I will give it a chance. However, if the zombies are fast, instead of shambling, I won't be happy.
- The Butterfly Effect - Ashton Kutcher in a serious role. Again, I will give it a chance. Now, a crazy version of The Time Machine? (Changes the past, alters the future, etc.) Hmmmm. Well, the trailer got my attention, I admit.

Tragically, their only evening show of Intolerable Cruelty was sold out, so instead (after a brief discussion at the ticket kiosk) we got tickets for The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. I wasn't all that thrilled with it.

OK, I didn't like it. Still trying to put my finger on it precisely, but some thoughts:

1.) Little to no humor. Humor and horror go hand in hand, and provide good contrast. Here, it was more like watching a disaster movie. Horrible things keep rolling in, with no breaks.
2.) The heroine only gets to fight back once or twice and do anything. Everyone else just gets killed, messily. See previous comment on disaster movie. The evil just keeps on coming, with only some running scenes to break it up.
3.) No influence from the supernatural at all. No, not that it's necessary, but in this flick, *every* person in the town is just horrid and purely evil. And, well, it's weird and unsettling, but not in a good, horror-movie suspenseful way. You just knew every person she found would be awful.
4.) Quit saying it's a true story, it's not really close anymore.

Lessons learned!
a.) Old people, ugly people, and hicks are all stupid evil murderers. Only pretty people are good.
b.) Never ever stop for hitchhikers, or you'll DIE.
c.) Generally, being a dick (leaving friends behind, hitting people first, etc.) solves all problems.
d.) Note the smart kid (who if people listened to him, they would all survive) is from NYC, while all the baddies are from Texas. Yet again, New Yorkers are just better than everyone else. (Yeah, I know, 'didn't help him!' But that's just because he wasn't *enough* of a bastard.)

But the good news, the lights came on in the theater like twenty minutes before the film ended, which disgruntled people. And then, the film cut off for about five minutes, *right* in the last couple minutes. Why is this good? Well, it came back on, so I got to see the end, and on the way out, free movie pass. Score!

Anyways. Possibly comments on tonight's Justice League later. Because it *ruled*. The second season, so much better than the first.

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