December 18th, 2009

What the hell?!

Why I love Team Fortress 2, revisited

From the latest update:

"The 18th century was a time of rapid innovation; in the space of a single year, the two-storey building, the stage play, America, and the rocket launcher were all invented by the same man: Shakespearicles, the strongest writer who ever lived. Despite his powerful grasp of language and the ability to bench press 700 British pounds, several inventions eluded his iron grip—most tragically among them, stairs. For the next three hundred years, people who needed to get to the second floor used the only method available to them: shooting a rocket launcher at their feet. Yes, it was ridiculous, crippling, and awful, but what are you going to do? Not go to the second floor? That’s where your bed is.

"Luckily, in 1857, a young bearded inventor named President Abraham Lincoln stumbled upon the answer: stairs. Unluckily, he never grasped the full import of his own invention, and died attempting to rocket jump up the world’s first staircase in his laboratory at Ford’s Theater. Horrified by this tragedy, mankind agreed never to invent anything again, turning its many scientists and scholars to that most noble endeavor, astrology.

"It would not be until 1921 when hotheaded Pisces Franklin D Roosevelt, languishing in a hospital after losing both of his legs in a rocket-jumping accident, stumbled upon Lincoln’s notes and perfected the modern staircase, freeing people from the tyranny of the second floor as Lincoln intended."

News

Terry Gilliam, Guantanamo, and Hawaiian electricity

FRIDAY NEWS:
* Wow. We have just about one contractor for every soldier we have in Afghanistan, with the combined number rivaling our total in Vietnam.
* No, moving Guantanamo detainees to the mainland won't actually improve their (lack of) legal standing.
* Important change made to how they maintain the UN terrorism watch list.
* "We believe this is a historic step forward for justice and human rights in our nation's capital."
* Hawaii jumps in to an energy revolution.
* "I want to talk about the sexual world we have today. And I want to talk about how vastly, immeasurably better it is than it used to be. Not that long ago, either."
* Bryan Singer signs on to direct an X-men prequel.
* Good interview with Terry Gilliam on the making of Doctor Parnassus.
* Ooh! Studio Ghibli will make a new movie of The Borrowers.