In honor of my friend young_egotist, who is heading out west soonly -
What do we do with a drunken sailor, early in the morning?
shave his belly with a rusty razor
put him in bed with the captain's daughter
put him in a longboat 'till he's sober
put him in the head with his skivvies on backwards
tie him to the wheel and call him captain
put him in the bilge and make him drink it