August 15th, 2002

Rock Star

Mission: Accomplished

Last night, Sailor Tork and I went undercover to Oliver's, a local bar that does karaoke on Wednesday nights. The place is tiny, first of all, very very much a local bar, and really not what I am used to. We stealthily take seats in the back, flip through the (admittedly huge) catalog, and have a treat mocking what we find.

Allow me to list a few of the songs we heard while we were there: "Secret Agent Man," Neil Young's "Heart of Gold," "Magic Carpet Ride," Cher's "Turn Back Time," and the real winner, Creed's "Arms Wide Open."

Again, the catalog was gigantic. Ace of Base? Covered. Nelly Furtado? There. Bon Jovi? Oh, oh yes. There were only a couple (admittedly more obscure) singers we couldn't find (Tom Waits,) but so, so many more that we could. Operative X, I will have you know they, in fact, had one "You Never Call Me By My Name," so now you're obligated.

The next part of the plot is getting a bunch of people together to go down there, and, you know, actually try singing something. Sailor Tork is pushing me to sing Danzig's "Mother," but I think I will have to go with something simpler at first, either "Comfortably Numb" or, in fact, "Folsolm Prison Blues."

(no subject)

* A look at Games Workshop, the company that makes Warhammer and 40k miniatures.
* You have to admit, Turok Jacobus has a nice ring to it.
* And why didn't this make national news? Because it isn't sensational enough.
* Monkey talk!
* A quick Gencon releases report.
* Again, I have to back Bush on this new stance with Egypt. I just want it to hurt them more, and apply it to other problem countries to whom we give foreign aide.
* The Smithsonian struggles with its September 11 exhibit.
* Presidents and their golf.
* And finally, Joe Bob Briggs on porn.

Fortune Cookie: "Idleness is the holiday of fools."
MP3: the Cure, "Burn"
Quote: "Here at the Straight Dope, public service is our only goal." -Cecil Adams, The Straight Dope