PMMJ (cheetahmaster) wrote,


Moving this entry to its own page so I don't have to keep looking at it. [-PMMJ, 4/16 7:36 am]

So the big party for a bunch of my friends' birthdays, that was gonna happen this Friday? I found out on accident that there was an Evite sent out about it. And the reason I didn't know about that... was that I was basically un-invited.

See, things are still kinda messed up after the breakup. And since the party's at the house of the ex, I was kinda wary. But as I've been avoiding doing things with my friends. So I was looking forward to getting to see everyone.

And then, it's a big let-down to find out first, that I don't get to go. Mind you, one of the housemates talked to me about it, and explained the situation. Which I, again, entirely understand, I just wish I had known earlier. What *also* irritated me, as when I heard about the Evite, *no one said anything to me about it.* They basically ignored that I asked the question, or pretended they didn't hear it, until the other housemate logged in.

This also strengthens this vague sense of alienation I've been having for a couple reasons, one of which has to stay private (a.k.a., ask me in person.) I just hate the feeling that people are talking around me, like I'm at the little kids' table at Thanksgiving dinner. I'm all for avoiding psychodrama, and I think describing it as 'giving things time to calm down/blow over/heal up' makes it sound even less immature. And it's not that I want to be invited everywhere, or am nosy and just want to know what's going on. I just don't like feeling shut out.

I'm very grateful for the other roommate taking the time to talk to be like an adult about this, and I completely understand the position she was put in. I would have gladly bowed out of going to the party, and will do so. I just wish it didn't feel like this. (And as she logged in, paged me about it, and logged out soon thereafter, I get the impression that was her purpose for being there, which means someone asked her to do it. Which also sucks, for her, being put in that position.)

I know this is kinda jumbled, my apologies. I had a bunch of other stuff to post, including how good my weekend was, but I don't feel like it now.

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